We’ll say Day 3 so i can keep up with you, if ever you decide you wanna read this

This morning was weird… i was sleeping in a weird position.. my dad woke me up and he got me deodorant so i said thanks, then i looked at the time and i didnt know if i had to work or go to the clinique, but i was up pretty late it was like 11, so i slept again till 11:30. Woke up.. took my phone and saw ur name.. i was relieved… one more day😅 i’m making the most out of it because… i dont know if you’re gonna keep talking to me or not… i’m hoping you do… i’m really trying to be there for you and help you… i want u to get back up… u got this… anyways… we talked this morning too… and we called on ur lunch hour… u sounded better… i’m happy i got to hear your voice… it felt good… i just cant get attached to.. waking up to u again… because if i do… ugh… i’m learning to control my emotional outbursts… cocaine kind of made that worst so its been harder to control… these days i’m getting it tho… its not so bad… i’m starting to not talk about it anymore, keeping it mostly to myself… but i did meet someone… one night with my friend sam he introduiced me to a girl who saved him once 2-3 years ago! So i was like.. maybe she can help me🤷🏻‍♂️ i added her on snap… we’ve talked a bit and she’s been good… so far i’ve only explained briefly the situation, and she’s giving me advice on things i should do to get to know myself again and when i feel like being alone i should take that time to find purpose or wtv… its not so bad, its how i’ve been learning the self control! I wish you were here tho… since we’ve spoken yesterday… its like you’ve made it easier… for me.. it feels… better with u… how u told me to get up yesterday and to stop being stupid … that’s what really worked… i miss you. I really hope you get to read this one day… you’ll get to see what i was thinking while all this was happening😅 i hope one day i get to fall in love with you all over again.